Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Greetings from the Volunteer State

The Volunteer State would be Tennessee for those of you who did not know that. I am glad I double checked that fact before I made this post public, as I thought Tennessee was the Show Me state - but that's Missouri. At either rate, they are both west of the Hudson River and are places that often illicit a raised brow of suspicion from me. I am generally wary of parts of America that don't touch an ocean or Great Lake. Although, Nashville has grown on me and not because of that television show Nashville that I refuse to watch. Sorry Connie Briton, loved you on American Horror Story, but just can't with this. A little too much twang for my blood.

But in traveling to the Volunteer State today a few things occured that made me chuckle. Clearly, someone forgot to pay the heating bill at LaGuarida Aiprort this month! Sheesh! What are they storing - dead bodies? Well, it is located in Queens - so you never know what's going on. KIDDING. Queens is cool, I like Astoria. What else. The TSA decided to give me a quick pat down and inspect my HAIR - my dreadlocks - for weapons I assume. First the shoe bomber, then the underwear bomber, and now me - the hair bomber. I am not kidding! The TSA workers can see your naked ass on a screen  in the name of national security scanner thing apparently detected something. I was then asked to turn around so I can "inspect your hair." I suppose that was the next rational place to check for box cutters and dirty bombs. I cannot be bothered. 

The Boy and I later made a friend on the plane. I don't like making friends when it is not on my iteniary for the day. "What are you guys, artists or something? Are you two in the arts or the sciences?  What do you do?" Insert awkward silenece. "Education and Property Management" I responded with a laugh.  "Shows how much I know!" she responded. Right, because lady you don't KNOW US and you shouldn't be yappping about things you don't know. You might look at me and The Boy and think a lot of things - but that was a new one.Next thing I know she'll be asking who is the top and who is the bottom! People should just mind their own business. Clearly, all of my Christmas cheer escaped my body on the evening of the 25th.

We left the plane and entered the airport to find someone singing a live rendition of Sweet Caroline! The guy was not half bad and was a plesant sign that I was definitely in the South. 

Hopefully, I can get back on my normal routine of posting in the morning. However, this may be difficult with The Boy's family as they actually are into doing family things together - for like big chunks of time. My family always missed that memo. Anyway, until next time!


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