Ok, I really did not meet Monica Lewinsky, but once again I did find myself at a bar that has a shot named in her honor. I decided to forgo consuming this particular shot this time around, as it comes with a brunette wig, you have to pick the shot up with your mouth, and there is a simulated shot of another kind that the bartender sprays on you as you throw the sucker back. In actuality it's just water I am told. You have to love New York City and the things that folks come up with, and the things that people will do with their hard earned money. I would like a shot named in my honor by the way, but I don't want to have to go through the work and humiliation of blowing the President of the United States - just saying.
Anyway, I also learned this weekend that I am getting old. I was in the house before midnight. I have to prep myself for nights out on the town as one would for a colonoscopy. I need time and I have to be in the right frame of mind. It's not something that comes naturally to me anymore. As I write this, I realize that as a gay man talking about being prepared for a colonoscopy might be a bad example, but you get the gist. I could easily have been at home watching Suzy Orman on a Saturday night, with no shame. GIRLFRIEND YOU CANNOT AFFORD IT!!! Yep, I'd sit comfortably on my couch wrapped in a blanket, but not a Snuggie because the day I buy a Snuggie is the day I can be taken outback and put down like an old horse. To the glue factory! A friend of mine and I have a pact that the day we feel compelled to purchase a Snuggie is the day we can be taken out - by someone, anyone. Someone have mercy on our poor pathetic souls! Anyway, the point is, I realize that I am getting old when it's not even Midnight and I'd rather have a cup of Cocoa then a Monica Lewinsky shot. Maybe it was the prospect of the mess...who knows. Anyway, had fun with some friends.
On another note, does anyone else ever wonder what she's doing? Is she married? Does she have kids? Is she dating? Where does she work? How would an employer take her seriously? Where does she live? Has anyone offered her a reality show? I imagine that having given the President of the United States a blow job, or as I have also heard lately - "an oral transaction" - has to make her somewhat appealing to some guys, at least they know she does that. I mean it must be awkward to date as Ms. Lewinsky. People obviously know nothing about her and yet we feel like we know every intimate detail about her because of her, um, activities. During the get to know you process of dating, are the cigar and dress just not discussed? I am so curious! And see, this is how I know I am getting old. It was a Saturday night and instead of getting drunk of my face, taking off my shirt and humping a fire hydrant - or something outrageous - I am worried about the love life of Monica Lewinsky. Oh well, what are you going to do? Maybe next Saturday I'll spend my evening writing a fan letter of sorts to the lady. Does she get fan mail? Uh, so many questions!
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